I remember the day I wrote it. I can almost see the paper now. It was much longer than I had expected it to be. And it was time! I was ready for the truth, but first I had to identify the lies.
So I wrote them all out into a list.
To be honest, I really was surprised. There were so many subtle lies about who I was and who I would become, and I didn’t even know. (Read my stories about the lies I believed about who I would be as it relates to motherhood, body image, and sexuality.)
What about you? Have you taken the time to sit down and address lies spoken to you about your identity? Are you able to confidently say “I’m not who they said I would be”? This can definitely be a process! To be sure, it can be an emotional one. (It was for me!) Everyone’s journey with this is very different, but maybe you don’t even know where to start in your journey. I’d like to share a few things that might help you as you identify the lies.
Pray… this step is the most important one… and really the one that carries on throughout all the other steps. Ask God to hep you. Our God is the One who gives wisdom to us generously (James 1:5).
And here’s the thing: He wants you to be free (Galatians 5:1). I think sometimes we can get this idea that we just have to struggle and struggle with things and that somehow God just wants it that way. But He set us free. And He wants us to be free. He wants us to walk in truth- and that includes the truth of who we are.
Friend, God knows. He was there when those identity seeds were sown in you. He knows who spoke them over you and in you- He is intricately acquainted with you (Psalm 100:3). And guess what! He wants you to be an effective warrior for His Kingdom (2 Timothy 2:3). Your identity matters to God and He WILL help you.
So start by asking!
“God, will you help me seek the truth about my identity in You? Will you walk closely with me? Father, I’m inviting you into this process. Work powerfully in my life! I want to be used by you, and I recognize this is an important part of seeing your power lived out in my life.”
IDENTIFY THE LIE
Start here. Allow God to show you the lies spoken over you. And dear one, I know… some of them are so painful. So hard to address. I know. Give yourself grace in the process, but don’t put it off altogether! The longer we wait to put a finger on these lies, the longer they actually become a part of our everyday lives.
Be brave Warrior for Christ! Be honest with yourself, and let God speak. As you step out courageously, remember that lies can be spoken verbally, but not necessarily. Ask God to give you discernment.
As you do, write down the lie or lies. For me, there was something so therapeutic about writing them down. I was able to look at the lies… trace the words with my fingers… remember and mourn!
And this is so important. The lies don’t just lie. They act. “Who they said I would be” can have huge implications in our lives. So give yourself space to mourn.
“Lord, what is the lie I have believed about myself? Show me how it was manifested. Father was it spoken to me in words? In actions? Give me the discernment to pinpoint the lie. Be with me as I do. Be my comfort as the pain of the past and present surfaces. Help me to mourn what needs to be mourned. Help me to do it in your presence. I am not alone.”
IDENTIFY THE LIAR
After you’ve identified the lie, it is important to make sure you know the source. I thought most of the lies I believed about myself came from people, but when I took a closer look, I realized that wasn’t always the case. And this is an important step. The way that we combat the lie will change according to the source. I believe there are three different liars.
- You- How often are we the ones lying to ourselves? The words we speak and the words we think are powerful. Are you the one telling yourself who you will be? Maybe the seeds of false identity have grown because you planted and watered them.
- The Enemy- Yes the devil is a liar. The father of lies in fact! (John 8:44) He hates who we are. He hates that we are on the winning team. And he wants nothing more than for you and me to be ineffective warriors in the Kingdom of God. So, of course, he is going to sow lies to you about who you are and who you will become.
- People- This last one is maybe the source we most often think of when it comes to identity. The most obvious lie is the one spoken by your mother, your brother or your friend. Or the one that was communicated to you by the way you were treated.
“God, will you help me identify who spoke these lies over me? Show me if it was me. Show me if it was her… or him. Or maybe it was the enemy. Father show me the source of the lies. You were with me when they were planted and you are with me now. Thank you!”
Hopefully the above is helpful as you identify the lies. Friends, be patient with yourself. Allow this process to unfold how the Lord wants it to! Take your time. Your identity matters. You matter!
There is more! Next week I will be sharing how to Embrace the truth. Please, please, please! If you have ANY questions, please let me know! Do you want me to cover something I didn’t cover here? Ask! If you have a story to tell, or need a friend to listen, please email me! I will respond! I want to hear from you!
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This post is a part of the Salt and Light Link Up